And You Don't Remember
by Larka's Blessing
Summary: Song-fic based off Mariah Carey's song You Don't Remember. Harry and Draco break up, and Harry doesn't take it well. A story with an alternate ending. Looking for opinions for which is better. Warnings: Slash guy/guy and Character Death. R/R Please!


A/N: None of this belongs to me. Give all credit to JK Rowling for the characters, and Mariah Carey for the idea. I was in the mood for an angsty fic, so I looked for a song, and I found this. And You Don't Remember by Mariah Carey. If you haven't at least read the lyrics before, I suggest you do so. They are fabulous, and have a very deep meaning.

Also, there are two alternate endings for this story. I couldn't decide if I wanted this to be sad and happy, so I did both. Enjoy!

This is slash. This means if you don't like it, au revoir. That means goodbye in French. AKA, Leave.

You're still here? Good! On with the story!

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_We stood together on a moonlight hill, just the two of us. It was paradise for me. I was so happy to be alone with him. It killed me to insult him in public. I hated it, and I knew it hurt him just as bad._

_I stared at him. The moonlight glinted off his platinum blonde hair. His eyes shone like liquid mercury, and, even in the dark of midnight, I could see the love shining from them. I hoped my eyes shone as much or more love, because that is what I was feeling. I could not describe what I felt to him at that moment. _

_He leaned towards me, and I leaned to meet him. _

_Suddenly, it was as if we were in a completely different place. Everything seemed darker and more sinister. He stared at me, and suddenly, slapped me across the face. "I never loved you." I looked up with hurt shining in my eyes, and it looked like he was laughing at me. His eyes shone with mirth. "I hate you." Then he walked away. _

_I fell to the ground crying. _

I woke up panting. Sure my imagination was a bit wild, but that was almost exactly what happened. This shattered dream cut through my mind. It had been one of many I had dreamt since he had left me. _Draco. _His name still tore me apart inside even more. Although I tried to deny it, he broke my heart. He didn't just break it; he ripped it out and shattered it into a million pieces.

Our love had very tragically died. He just up and left me one day. He had been very cold to me the past few days before he left. That was a month ago. I tried to get him to talk to me, but he would reject me at every turn. I eventually gave up and stopped talking to him all together. Then, one day, he suddenly ran to me and kissed me passionately. I was confused, and when he pulled away, I saw his luggage.

_Draco pulled away, and I looked at him, and then behind him. Then, I understood. "You're leaving?"_

"_I'm sorry, Harry. I need to go. I never loved you. I was fragile, and you took advantage of me. I can't forgive you for that._

I shook my head to rid myself of the memory. I needed to stop thinking about _him. _I tried to, I really did, but the memories seemed confined in my head, and I keep bitterly reliving the end, trying to face it and accept that it was over, but I couldn't. I kept expecting to see him every morning when I woke up, and every time, I cried myself back to sleep.

Soon, I fell into a depression. Everything I saw was darkness. I was, well, I couldn't say happy or relieved, I didn't feel those emotions anymore, it was more like it was good that I had already dealt with Voldemort. I wouldn't be able to find it in me to do it now.

The depression kept getting worse. Soon, all I could feel was bitterness and hate. I wrote a letter to him, to try and get some of my former self back.

Draco,

I can't believe you did this to me. I hate you for it. I gave myself to you trustingly, and I let you inside my shields. I let you see the real me. I believed your lies, every time you told me that you loved me.

And now, seeing you in the hallways kills me. It's as if you don't remember every time you told me that you were mine forever, for eternity. And how you used to hold me, how we'd melt together in each other's arms. You don't remember how  
we needed each other, and how we used to be in love.

Do you know how I felt that day? You say I took advantage of you, but I think it was you who took advantage of me. I couldn't believe that you had done that to me.

You were my first and only love. I never knew love growing up, and everyone I had a chance to love was taken from me in death. You were the only one I loved, and you betrayed me and that trust.

I hate you, but I love you for it.

Harry.

Now, I'm stranded here in this nothingness that has become my life, with only tears and loneliness. I was hopeless and latched onto the first hope I had for love. I was helpless and I fell so deeply in love. I was so naïve to let you into my heart. Why did I let you into my heart? I was stupid.

***

I read Harry's letter, and I knew I had to go back to him. I missed him too, but I had thought that I could find a better life and happiness away from him. I had been so wrong. I was so very, very wrong. I rushed back across the country to our flat he bought, hoping he would take me back, even after four years.

I finally made it to the flat and knocked on the door. I saw everything in slow motion. I waited for a while, and then knocked again, harder this time. The door swung open. It hadn't been locked or even shut. The flat was dark, so I flipped on the lights. Then, I fell to the ground in shock. This had to be a nightmare. This couldn't be happening. No. I refused to let this be real. I pinched myself to convince myself that I wasn't asleep. I had to be asleep. No. This couldn't be happening.

Harry was laying face down on the carpet, and there was blood everywhere. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I flipped him over, and his glassy eyes stared back at me. I slowly looked over him, and noticed where the blood had come from.

There was a knife, stabbed deeply into his heart.

I couldn't believe it. This had to be a mistake. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I moved to try and remove the knife from him, and I heard a crinkling noise. I looked down.

Draco,

You did this to me. You forced me to do this. If you ever come back, I want you to know that.

However, even though I do hate you, I still care for you enough that I don't want you in prison. Show this letter to whoever you call to arrange my funeral.

Oh who am I kidding? You'll never read this, and it'll probably be Ron or Hermione that comes and finds me. You won't come back. You never loved me, and so now I'm with my parents, Sirius, and Remus, where hopefully I'll find love.

Ron, Hermione, you two were the best friends I ever had. Live your lives together, and I hope you find happiness with each other, the way I never could. And Ron, propose all ready. Draco, if you ever come back, I leave everything I have to you, including my heart, well, what's left of it. I hope maybe this time you'll know what to do with it. I hope that every time you look at something that was once mine, you'll remember what you left behind, and exactly why you have all this. I leave my vaults at Gringott's to the Weasley's. Enjoy, my friends, you two Hermione.

Harry.

I completely broke down and sobbed. Harry was right. I was horrible to him, and all I wanted was to get him back. But that was impossible.

I managed to get a Patronus up, but it was very weak. I couldn't find any happiness right now. Then I thought of the first time Harry and I kissed. My Patronus finally grew into its animal form, and I was shocked that it was now a stag, Harry's stag. I cried more, but I managed to give it my message and send it off to the Weasleys.

I couldn't take it anymore, and I let everything I had been feeling out. I screamed, cried, and for a time, fell completely silent. That was how Granger found me.

"_Draco_"

"Hermione, I need your help."

"Why would I help you?"

"No," I shook my head wearily, "not me. Him. Harry."

"Harry doesn't need you! Do you know how badly you hurt him?"

"I knew that I did, but I just found out how much."

"What do you mean? No! Harry didn't, did he?"

I stood aside and let her in.

Her cries were almost as bad as knowing that I was the reason for all this. I handed her the letter Harry left, and she smiled when she got to the part about Weasley proposing, but it was a very weak smile. Then she broke down sobbing again. I walked up behind her and gently pulled the knife out of Harry.

**Alternate Ending 1**

The funeral for Harry was extremely sad. I wasn't allowed in the close family and friends section. I had to stay in the back with the press and well wishers. I can't say it was more than I deserved. I took it all in stride, and not soon enough, the funeral was over. Since I had been Harry's lover, even though I broke his heart and basically killed him, I did get to pay my last respects. I walked up to the coffin. Every person there who knew what happened was glaring at me. I deserved it. When I got there, I fell down to my knees with my head on his coffin, and I did something a Malfoy should never do.

I cried in public.

I heard the cameras flashing and people going crazy, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I knew Mother and Father would be rolling in their graves if they could see me right now, but Harry was more important.

I cried until I was slowly led away from him. I was brought back to Harry's flat. I looked up at the person who removed me from him. It was his best friend, Ron.

I dropped the last name and insults thing. It was what Harry wanted all his life, and I could at least give him that.

"You hurt Harry so much, Draco."

"I know, and I regret it every minute I live."

"Why did you leave him?"

"I was scared. He was everything I wanted in a relationship, and it scared me that he was so perfect. I ran, like the coward I am."

"You know I don't like you, but for Harry's sake, friends?"

I nodded and shook his hand. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being there for him when I was so stupid and wouldn't."

"Apparently I wasn't "there" enough."

"I'm talking about all through Hogwarts. I was stupid, and you helped him along every step of the way."

"Oh. You're welcome then."

"Did you read the last letter that Harry," I chocked back the tears, "wrote?"

"No. Why?"

"Well, Harry left you all of his vaults on one request."

"And what was that?"

"That you proposed to Hermione already."

Ron blushed and I laughed slightly. "Oh."

"Will you do it?"

"I don't have the money."

"You have all the money in the world, Ron. Trust me. I have a feeling you'll be getting a lot more very soon."

Ron looked confused, but he seemed to shake it off. "Alright. Will you help me pick out a ring?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

Ron and Hermione's wedding was beautiful, but at the same time, it hurt almost as much as seeing Harry dead. I wanted to marry Harry, but because of my stupid mistake, that was never going to happen.

That night, I went home and made my decision. I was going to join Harry. And I did.

Alternate Ending 2

I felt like I was flying. I landed softly in a lush yard. I looked around, and saw two people coming towards me. I looked for my wand, but remembered I was dead, so I relaxed. As the two figures came closer, I recognized who there are.

"Mum! Dad!"

"Hello Harry!" And even though I was a grown man, I ran into their arms and hugged them. "Harry, come on now. We need to talk."

"Ok! What about?"

"What you did to yourself." My happy mood disappeared.

"I killed myself. I couldn't stand life without him."

Mum ran her hand along the grass, and suddenly it was clear. "Look, dear."

I saw my bloody body lying on the ground of my flat. The blood was all dried. "How long has it been?"

"A week. Now watch."

I turned back and saw someone with pale hair walk in. He flipped the lights on and saw me. Just seeing him again made my body ache. "I don't want to see anymore of this."

"I'm sorry, dear. You have to."

Suddenly, my haven was filled with the sounds from below us. Draco was trying to confirm something by pinching himself. Then he flipped me over and saw what I had done. His cries filled my ears and made me cry as well. He conjured a weak Patronus and then thought about something. Then, the mist turned into a stag. My stag. Dad's stag. He sent it off, and soon Hermione was there. They talked, and then Draco pulled the knife from me. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

Hermione turned to him. "Why did you run?"

"I was scared. He was everything I wanted in a relationship, and it scared me that he was so perfect. I wanted him to find someone better, but then I realized I was too selfish to let him go. When he sent his letter to me, I traced it back to here, and found him," his voice broke, "I found him like this."

"Do you know how much you hurt him? He wouldn't even talk to us anymore."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I messed up."

Mum ran her hand across the grass again, and the view was gone. "No! I want to see him!"

"Harry, you have a choice now."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not supposed to die yet. Usually, you would have to deal with it, but you are special. You have a choice."

"Why me?"

"You saved that world from Voldemort. You are supposed to have a happy life before you, not this. Draco has come back, and you know he is sincere. Go back to him. Go back and live your life the way you were supposed to son. Marry him."

"I don't want to."

"Yes you do, Harry. You love him, even though he ran. You know why he ran, and you know that he still loves you."

"Not everything is that simple. He could be lying."

"Think about what you saw. Why would he come back? Why would he cry when he was all alone? Why can't things be that simple?"

"I don't know."

"Harry, you do know where you should go, and you know where you want to go. They are the same place, so why not?"

"I should, but I'll miss you two."

"We will always be with you son. If you ever need to talk to us, go to our graves and request that you talk with us. You have seen us here, so we will never truly leave you again."

"Alright." I stood up. "I'll go back."

Mum and Dad smiled. "Good. We love you son."

"Thanks Mum and Dad. I love you too."

Suddenly, everything went black, and all I knew was pain. I groaned.

"Harry?" It was _him._

I groaned again to let him know that I was alive and that I needed help.

"Hermione! He's back!"

So Hermione was here. That's good, since she's a Healer.

"Move! Let me heal him. He is close to dying again." I felt my shirt being carefully ripped off, and then various salves and spells being put on me. Everything was silent.

Then, "He is stable."

"Thank you, Hermione."

"Thank you, Hermione." I managed to say.

"Harry! You're awake!"

"Yes."

"Here, take a drink of this."

She handed me a potion and I drank it. The pain went away, and I could see again. Everything was blurry, so I took off my glasses. I could see everything perfectly! "I can see."

"Without your glasses?"

I nodded. "Wow!"

"Hermione, could you leave us alone for a little while?"

"Sure Harry, but call me if you need anything."

"I will." I waited until she left, and then I turned to Draco. "You don't know how badly you hurt me."

"Yes, I do. You almost died!"

"You may know what you felt, but you'll never know how I felt."

"I know, Harry, and I'm so sorry."

"Sorry isn't always enough."

"How can I make it up to you?"

"You already have."

"What?"

"Actions speak louder than words. I saw how you reacted when you saw me. You truly didn't mean to hurt me."

"I thought you were too perfect."

"Nothing is ever too perfect."

"Nothing but you. Harry, I'm sorry. I know that could never change anything, but I truly am."

"I understand. Come here." I shakily grabbed Draco's shirt and pulled him to me. Then, I kissed him like I had wanted to all these years, and he kissed back. It was the most amazing thing I have ever felt, even to this day.

Fin.

A/N Ok, what do you think? Which ending do you prefer? Should I leave two endings or choose one? Opinions help people!  R/R Please!


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